The Best Diet Ever

Do you want to lose 4 kg in a week? How about losing the weight without exercise or cutting back on your favorite foods? No weight loss journals, no carb counting, no lemon juice and maple syrup concoction. All you have to do is shake my hand or if you want instant results, let me give you a kiss. It's that easy! I've had this unidentifiable cold/allergy/flu/virus for over two weeks. No matter what or how much medicine I take, it will not go away. Even with G supplying all the things I have to have when I'm sick - gorgonzola cheese pizza, blueberry ice cream, and Super Dickmann's - I am still losing weight and feeling absolutely horrible. And I look like somebody beat me with an ugly stick. We've decided that if I'm not better by Monday, I have to see a doctor. But in the meantime, if you need me or my virus, I'll be here all weekend, sweating, coughing, and eating.