Signs

We had a funny conversation with some friends, over dinner at Big Bowl recently. We were talking about when you say or do certain things and suddenly you realize that those are the telltale signs that you are getting old. For example, when we were in Virginia Beach, there was a little boy, he had to be under 5 years old, walking down the beach alone, looking around like he was lost. As soon he passed us, I called out to him, "Are you lost, Sweetie? Who are you looking for?" The little boy looked at me like I was a weirdo and said no, that he wasn't lost, he was looking for his family. He knew they were lying next to a blue umbrella. End of story, right? No. I didn't believe him. First of all, what parent in their right mind, would allow a 5 year old to walk around Virginia Beach alone? And second, there had to be a hundred blue umbrellas in that area. So I got up and followed him, a little ways behind because it was obvious he was afraid of me, just to make sure he was ok. G laughed and called me a paranoid Grandma because I didn't take the little boy's word that he was fine. And to prove G right, of course after walking down the beach for about 5 minutes, he did meet up with his parents. A little embarrassed, I turned around and walked back to our spot, thinking...Oh my gosh, I am getting old. That was something my Mom would have done! But last week, it was G's turn. For three nights in a row, we had to listen to the teenagers next door, party all night. I'm talking constant blaring music, yelling and laughing, pounding the walls, and screaming down the hallways. By the third night, G had had enough. He walks over and knocks on the door. When they finally open up, he puts his hand on his hips and uses his Terminator voice and says, "You are getting on my nerves. This is the third night of partying. If you don't be quiet I will call the police. Don't make me come here again. Goodbye." The teenagers were silent. And then they apologized. I couldn't believe it. G comes home with a big smile on his face and we get ready for bed. About 10 minutes later, as we are standing in our kitchen, we can hear all of them leaving and walking to the elevators. End of story, right? No. Someone yells, "I f***ing love you Sarah!!!!!" This pushes G over the edge. He swings open the door, boxer shorts and all, and screams at the top of his lungs. He completely cussed out the kids standing at the elevator. He instantly transformed from the Terminator to Andrew Dice Clay (here is another sign of old age, making references to celebrities who were popular 15 years ago). I wish I could have taken a picture - G in his underwear screaming and the teenagers with looks of horror on their faces. Priceless. We haven't had any problems since. No parties on this floor. Yup, Grandpa totally showed those kids who's boss.