Married For Life

Is it a real possibility or just a great concept?

Will we end up like my grandparents, still deeply in love in our 80's or like my parents, divorced and bitter in our 30's? Over the years, will we start to develop cute nicknames for each other, like My Brown Eyed Girl and The Ice Cream Man or will we start to call each other names, like Arschloch and Dumme Kuh? Are we really committed to making this marriage work - no matter what - come what may, for fatter or thinner, from bad weaves to baldness, from shopping sprees to counting every penny, my food fads and your obsession with electrical equipment, from making love daily to not making love at all, from being Denzel's parents to being grandparents
....until death (not lawyers) do us part?

G and I said yes and we believe being married for life is a real possibility IF you are realistic. For example, we understand that it is inevitable that we will get on each other's nerves, every single day. We can't help it. We both have strong personalities and opinions. Individually, we are both the type of person you instantly love or you can't stand after five minutes. And we are very vocal and sometimes, brutally honest with each other. So, with that said, we've decided to be realistic in our marriage. We accept that we will always do things to get on each other's nerves. It is what it is. But instead of constantly complaining about the same things over and over again, we've discovered a way to tolerate each other's pet peeves. We are using Rubber Band Therapy. Every day, I wear a single rubber band on my wrist. And every time G does something to get under my skin, and I want to complain about it, I snap the rubber band instead of complaining. That snap prevents me from complaining or starting an argument over some small but annoying behavior. G wears one as well. The snapping works in reverse too. Like when G comes home from a run and puts his dirty shoes on the bathroom sink to clean them. When I snap my rubber band, he thinks about why I'm snapping it and realizes that behavior is getting on my nerves and he removes the shoes. Or when we are watching tv together and G wants me to turn the channel and I say, "Give me 5 minutes." because I want to finish watching Wife Swap (a show I know he hates) and then 20 minutes later, I hear that snap and I realize that I'm pushing the limit so I change the channel. It's pretty cool. We've been using Rubber Band Therapy for almost 2 weeks and we both agree that it's working. Those annoying pet peeves are disappearing slowly but surely. And I already know what you're thinking. Do I seriously think Rubber Band Therapy will save us from ever arguing? No. Do we think Rubber Band Therapy will keep us madly in love with each other for 40 years? Nope. Will Rubber Band Therapy save us from divorce? Not a chance. But at the very least, it shows us that we are both willing to work on sustaining our marriage and willing to try a silly little exercise like Rubber Band Therapy, just to make each other happy. And that willingness alone, makes us love each other more every day.

We're on our way, Grandma F. I love you.